Ah.... Hmm.... Dream Again

Have you ever had a dream that was SO messed up, you wanted to remember it? A dream that even while you're dreaming it, you are already thinking up ways to remember pieces so when you wake it is not so jumbled as most of all your other dreams?

Well I had... such a dream.

If this sounds/reads jumbled.... I probably dreamed it that way.... or forgot something...... *shrug*


Part One:

I was at a castle/school. I was in the middle of junior year... 11th grade. I was at the bus loading zone... thing. There were little kids with me who were running around in all directions. I tried to help them. I saw a door open on the side of the school and heard voices coming from there, so went in to try to get the kids out. As soon as I entered the room, the door shut and locked. And there were no kids.... I was stuck in there for the rest of the school year... they found me in summer. (Don't ask how, bleh.)

LATER!!!!:

I'm starting school.... going to go into senior year. Only BECAUSE I have missed junior year important classes, my schedule is changed. I now have ENUMCLAW HISTORY (I was like... WTF?!!) TWICE!.... French... and *shudder* lower level English for Juniors. AND I would have to be a super senior to complete senior coursework.

Well.. actually, that's wayyyyyy easier than what happened....

I took bus to castle/school. Upon getting off the bus, I realized I had no updated schedule. I went to the office lady.... passed by the room, no one was there, came back, they'd come from upstairs... so I went in. And she was MEAN! She gave me the list of classes I needed to take. I argued that I wouldn't need Enumclaw history.... she yelled at me and said I did..... She gave me a key thing (as she had given me the classes, but not where). So I stood, hunched over the desk, trying to figure out what class was where from the paper she gave me... and the paper was set up EXACTLY LIKE BATTLESHIP!!!!! (probably why I woke up and wanted to play it... hmm). When I was finished, she came back and yelled at me. I zapped her with magic I didn't know I had (Durrrr, I wouldn't have wasted time with the schedule if I could have zapped her earlier), she fell into a comma. I realized she had a little kid class (nursery school?) she was supposed to be teaching.. so I subbed. The kids were happy because I was treating them nicely and allowed them to play games and stuff.

Kid: Where's our real teacher?
Me: She's in a comma.
Kid (asking other lady helping in the room): Where's the teacher?
Her: She's out getting coffee.
Kid: Best decision she EVER made.

End Dream.

.......... weird or what?

Loves and hugs always and forever,

~Lema

Okay.... two nights in a row of dreams.. you know what that means....

..... I'm going to blog. Yes, blog. Saturday night, I dreamt that I was watching investigators watching a serial killer in the interrogation room. I dreamt that they were repulsed because he was genuinely and really obviously (by looking at him) guilty but that he wasn't saying anything they could use against them. I dreamed that when they took it to trial, the defense played the tape. And because there was no proof on it, the jury were undecided and the man went free.

I dreamt that two detectives who worked on the case were in an apartment together that neither of them knew very well. One of them had to fly down to Mexico to sign divorce papers with his wife but he would be back. They were working on trying to figure out the reason for the MO of the killer. Stabbing and then a shot through the foot with a pistol. Why?

The detective leaves for Mexico and the other is left alone in the apartment. He drifts off to sleep to awake with the wind blowing at his face from the slightly open door. He asks loudly if his partner is back from Mexico so soon. And before he can get to his gun, a hand emerges from his peripheral vision and stabs across is chest, cutting deep. He stumbles from the blow and falls. The stabbing continues. As he nears death, his feet twitch. And his foot is shot. And he dies.


Fun dream, huh?

Anyway..... ever had a dream where you can't remember pictures from the dream, only words describing it? Last night I woke up and could only remember this: running, hunting, hunted.


OKAY!!!!

I have this one friend who I love dearly. But she has mood swings and makes some poor choices and believes that she's things she's not. Today, she grinned at me and told me she FINALLY figured out what disease she had!!!!! When I didn't seem enthused, she pouted until I told her I was stressed out by other stuff. And then she grinned again and said, "I'm a sociopath!!!"..... yeah, hunny.... no. Nice try... but no. *sigh* Crazy. But I haven't the heart to tell her.

Peaciez,

~Lema

The Lost Parade

Sorry for the title... that's the song I'm listening to. Yeah... I, Synthesist is the bomb (as in awesomely awesome/tubular I love them.... not they have weapons of mass destruction - so don't get all excited, dear US government officials).

Okay, first item of business.

For the past few weeks, I have been out of my first semester classes (sadness!!!).

Now I have:

Speechcraft
Psychology
Chemistry
Honors English

Which is sad. No creative outlet classes. Just boredom. -.- I'm saddened. I miss drama :'(

Had a dream last night of taking an English test.... I was supposed to write a synopsis of Of Mice and Men.... and at the end of the 85 minutes, all I had done was half of the title. And it wasn't Of Mice and Men. I wrote "Everybody Counts" on my paper and the title was "Doubt Counts" What do you suppose my subconscious is trying to tell me?

And Saturday night (the power having been out since Friday morning), I had a dream and ended up talking to my mum in my sleep. She says it went a little something like this:

"I can't! I can't!"
"It's okay, honey, it's okay if you can't."
"Does this mean you won't blind me?"

What the HELL is up with my subconscious?! I think it needs serious treatment.

OH! And I have a monologue that I have to do in front of my English class on Monday!!!! Only... I was ready to do it Friday... and was supposed to do it Friday. So my nerves are shit! I guess it doesn't help that I ended up bawling (and I mean bawling) in class on Friday because I found out I wasn't going to get to go. The only problem with shutting off all your feelings... when they finally burst through, you have waterfalls. And people noticed!! I can't just forget! I'll be weak around those people for as long as I know them! That just pisses me off -.-

Anyway..... toodles.

~Lema

Bothersome Dream

Okay, okay... no more joking around. Here's my bothersome thing for today:

Last night, I had this dream...

I was a psychologist, I had my Ph. D. and everything and I was consulting with a patient. I don't remember exactly what I told her, but I know that I was helping her with a problem she had at home. Something that was making her sad all the time, something that seemed to take away her light. Something that deprived her of sleep and made her wish that she was robbed of life.

So I gave her advice.

And then she took it.

And then she killed herself.

So I failed at what I was supposed to do. I failed at helping this poor troubled girl that reminded me so much of myself that I refused to become attached. And so because I acted indifferently and gave my advice with no real emotion behind it, with no empathy, with no feeling.... she died. She died because of me.

And I knew then that I would never succeed at what I am set to become.

And I had this sneaking suspicion that maybe... just maybe... I have once again chosen that topic or task that is too far beyond my comprehension and skill. And once again, I have set myself up to fail. And I thought that maybe... just maybe.... every decision I have made in my life has set myself up for this, that everything I have done has led to one last failure. Every decision only spiraling me down toward one final point in time when things get to be too much too soon and my sanity no longer roots me to reality.

Maybe.

I hope not.

~Lema